yue_akuma | Soap Qui Peut! - Diamond from Dark Moon Starlight

Me: NOT YET. *starts editing the film.*
Ho: I thought you're back being the servant girl.
Me: HELL NOEZ BABY. AT 12 O'CLOCK I NOT BE A SERVANT GIRL, I BE A BETCH.
Ho: Ah. my previous guess is right then.
Me: *bitchslap yunho*
Ho: WTFWas that for?!
Me: COZ I'M A BETCH. NOW GO AWAAY!
Min: I'm hungry.
Me: Okay, I'll make you a kebab in jiffy, okay?
Ho: HOW COME YOU'RE NOT BITCHING ON HIM?!
Me: *bitchslap yunho* BECOZ I WANT TO.

Jay : we're done?
MD : for today yes. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll do it again in another thread.
Ando : YAY~!
Junho : I DIDN'T GET TO MOLEST SU! D:<
Su : Where are you coming from anyway?
MD : Damn, we forgot the Juncest. Next time, I swear.
Su : *takes his bro in his arms* Don't worry, they always do what they say.
MD : HELL YEAH, AND EVEN MORE WHEN IT INVOLVED HOT SEX >:D
Jae : CAN I GET OUT OF THE NET NOW? >_<
MD : nope.
Jae : I HAET YOU! D:
MD : whatevs'
Chun : HEY LET'S GO WATCH THE MOVIE NOW RIGHT? :D
MD : I still have to edit it, you dumb... *rolls eyes.
Chun : Oh well. :|

Me: Patience is a virtue, Chunnie.
Su: He's practically the incarnation of Lust, no way he can have a virtue.
Chun: Kehehehehehe.
Min: I'm hungry.
Su: And here, we have Gluttony.
Ho: I need to get back to work!
Su: Greed.
Jae: GET ME OUT!
Su: Wrath.
Ando: Going to sleep.
Su: Sloth.
Jay: I WISH I CAN RAEP MIN MORE. LIKE HIS HYUNGS.
Su: Envy.
Me: And you're Pride.
Su: Precisely.
Me: *changes the background with a remote.* You know what? Church smut. Go.
Everyone: *pounce on su*
Su: JEEEBUS HELP MEE! WAIT I MEAN JESUS! AAAAA!!!!
Min: Please, refer to my professional name, "Changmin", okay?
Me: *secretly makes out with Junho.*

MD : *is rolling on the floor laughing* *takes Junho away from you and throws him in the orgy*
Jae : CAN I GET OUT NOW? I REMIND YOU THAT I CANNOT JOIN THE ORGY IF I'M STUCK HERE
MD : Oh wait... *catches Yunho* Now take care of this boy please...
Ho : YAY~!
Jae : ...again?
MD : dun care, I'll send them to you one by one.
Chun : GANG BANG YAY~!
MD : shut up and rape Su now!
Su : YEAH :D
Junho : *facepalms*
Jay : *is happy coz he can rape Min during the orgy*
MD : *takes pictures* *nosebleeds*

Me: *throws everybody into the net* done. *starts videocam*
Jae: IT'S FREAKING STUFFY IN HERE! I CANNOT BREATHE FOR LORD SAKE!!
Ho: *raeps Jae*
Jae: NYAAARRRGHH!!!
Min: I'm hungry.
Jay: Eat mine!
Min: *gives*
Jay: *happy*
Junho: I cannot see how my little brother can get in on this.
Me: just you remember you're still engaged with me when this is over.
Junho: Yes, honey.
Me: And by the way you're raping Su now.
Junho: *gasp* no wonder it's so fluffy!

MD : *takes pix again* BTW Jay don't forget that once everything's done you have to marry me again....
Jay : didn't remember we divorced...
MD : yeah we did when i discovered DBSK, remember?
Jay : Oh yeah, you wanted to marry Min.
Min : Whut? o_O
MD : shut up and suck.
Min : okay *goes back to where he was*
Sylar : Hey I want to rape too!
MD : ...wherethehelldidhecomefrom? o_o
Ando : YAY~! Com'here boy!
Sy : Yay~!
MD : ... I think we need a bigger net.
Jae : DAMN STRAIGHT WE DO! D:
MD : *slaps him to shut him up*

B: *drags an elephant-sized, lead-reinforced butterfly net*
Jae: Didn't know they make it like that.
B: Narnia has giant butterflies.
Min: Uhh...no they don't.
B: Let's just say they do, now GET IN HERE.
Everybody: *moves to the net*
Jae: *dragged to the net*
Ho: *raeps him*
Jae: *squeal*
B: All in a day's work. *sips tea while videocamming.*

MD : That's some epic butterfly net that you brought us here...
Jae : I STILL SAY THAT A BEDROOM WITH A REALLY BIG BED WOULD BE BETTER
Ho : *still humping* I...have...to...agree. *pants*
MD : ...YEAH BUT NO.
Chun : Why's that?
MD : Becky just brought you a brand new net. You could respect that at least.
Min : That's right. Thanks Umma! Thanks Oppa! *is being raep'd anyway*
MD : Good boy! :)
Jae : *grumbles* *is still raep'd*

B: AAAWWWW!!!! *runs to hug Minnie.*
Min: YAAAAY!!! *hugs back*
Su: *waits for me to finish hugging Min*
Chun: *waits for me to finish hugging Min*
Jay: *waits for me to finish hugging Min*
Sylar: *waits for me to finish hugging Min*
Tae: Look, look! *does dance solo*
SuChunJaySy: *eyes Tae*
B: OH NO WAY. *quickly grabs Tae and leaves*
SuChunJaySy: *back to raeping Min*
Tae: Why can't I do what they're doing?
B: HONEY, YOU'VE JUST ENROLLED HIGHSCHOOL. Those acts make your brains fizz.
Tae: Oh.
Su: *is still eyeing Tae*
B: I CAN SUE YOU FOR PEDOPHILE.

MD : JAY DAMN IT DON'T YOU THINK IT'S ENOUGH WITH INCEST ALREADY?
Jay : ...nope.
MD : *headwall*
Chun : Like if you cared in fact.
MD : I don't care, but Taemin is still too young. Is th same age as my sisters. Which means too young.
Su : You're weird.
MD : Fuck you.
Chun : I'D LIKE TO! :D *fucks Su*
MD : *facepalms* I think I never facepalmed so much in my whole life...

B: *high-fives you* My face could as well be as flat as pancakes by now.
Tae: What exactly are they doing?
B: Catching ducks.
Tae: Umma, I'm 15. I can read. I know what they're doing.
B: No, I am not joking with you. *points at the lake* those people are catching ducks.
Tae: Oh.
Jae: Wait, since when there's a lake?
B: Since smut isn't healthy for my youngest born. Tae, go feed the ducks
Tae: YAAAAAY!!~~
Jae: Nice excuse.
B: I know.
Chun: *raeping Su*
Ho: *raeping Jae*
JaySy: *raeping Min*
SuJaeMin: *Uke moans orchestra*
B: *listens intently*
Uke Orchestra: *Starts playing beethoven*

MD : *can't stop laughing out loud*
Ando : right, this is going to get old. Let's go all feed the ducks.
Everybody : *goes feed the ducks*
Min : Yay~! Family trip!
Jae : That's pretty cool.
MD : OMG HE ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING NICE! XD
Jae : *ignores*
Ho : com'ere little ducky, come to daddy Yunho...
Tae : LOLZ
Ho : *slips on mud* *falls in mud*
Everybody : *laughs*
Ho : OMG GREAT MUD BATH
Jae : O RLY? *goes in mud too*
MD : what the hell...
Jae : It's good for skin.
MD : ...
Chun : Do it umma. I know you want to.
MD : Right. *facepalms*

B: NO MUD BATHS. It's either mud or DINNER FOR THE REST 60 YEARS.
Min: *stop suddenly*
Tae: *feed ducks*
Jae: *looks at me weird*
B: Don't even dare give me that look. Our house is still new.
Jae: We have a house?
B: STILL IN CONSTRUCTION! And it's not going to help if you guys keep ruining it!
Ho: So...
B: YOU'RE EVICTED OF THE HOUSE UNTIL YOU'RE CLEAN.
Ho: *gasp*
Jae: YAY I'M RAEP FREE!
Min: *claps*
Ho: *went naked to bathe in the lake*
B: I know you love him.
Jae: Eh. might as well do it. *nosebleeds*
Min: Wow that's new.
Tae: Official New Kink: NOSEBLEEDING!JAEJOONG.

Min: *looks at Tae weird*
B: WHO DARES TEACH MY SON ABOUT KINKS?

MD : *looks at Chun* You'd better run son.
Chun : WAITAMINIT I didn't do anything this time.
Jay : You sure?
Chun : I ONLY PERVERTED MIN AND SU I SWEAR.
MD : Right, then who?
Everybody : *big silence*
MD : *turns berserker* DON'T YOU DARE STAY SILENT OR I SWEAR YOU'LL DIE!!! NO ONE TEACH KINKS TO MY STEP-SON!!!
Min : ...Oppa...
MD : WHAT?
Min : ...he read it in one of my fanfictions while I wasn't looking... I had to explain what it was.
MD : ...AND NOW WHO THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KILL, I CAN'T KILL MY OWN SON!!!
Jay : I know what will work. *starts rapping*
MD : *goes off berserker mode* *sits under a tree and beggins to fall asleep*
Jae : Okay, now Min you're going to enjoy your Umma's wrath.
Min : *turns to see you* ...Umma? *puppy eyes*

B: Oppa is for addressing an older male, right? Appa's the one for "Dad".
Min: ...Umma? *puppy eyes*
B: Jay, that's not how it's supposed to do.
Jay: Then what am I supposed to do?
Jay-Z: Lemme show ya how's it done, betch.
Jay: *gasps like whoaaa*
Min:...Ummmaaaaaa??? *triple puppy eyes power*
B: Baby Tae, it's getting dark. Let's go home and I'll make you some cookies!
Tae: Yay cookies! Bye duckies!
Duckies: Quack.
Ho: I'm done washing up.
B: Good, then carry your father-in-law. BE CAREFUL WITH HER!
Ho: Yes, Ma'am. I mean, Mother-in-law.
B: *goes home*
Tae: *follows*
Ho: *carries you very carefully*
Yoosu: *trails from behind*

Jae: Face it, Min. She's giving you the cold shoulder.
Min:...Ummaa.....
Jae: It's your karma.
Min: *starts crying*
Tae: Here, she told me to give you these.
Min: *excited* what is it?
Tae: Camping equipments. And some potato chips.
Min: *sour*
Jae: She still loves you. In one way or another.
Tae: Jae, she only gives me 5 minutes or both of us won't get any dinner too.
Jae: SEE YA LOSER. *zooms off to home with Tae*
Min: *starts unpacking camping equipments while crying*

I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THIS IS THE ONLY ONE TIME I'M MAD AT MIN.

LOLZ POOR MIN SERIOUSLY.
BTW I'm doing a picspam for you. You'll see. ;D

okay! yaaaay!
*is super excited*

Min:...is umma still mad at me?
B: *hugs min half-asleep*
Min: Yaaay!

MD : Min, promise you will never talk about naughty things in front of your step-brother again!
Min : I SWEAR!
MD : Good boy.
Chun : And in front of me? I'm his step-bro too!
MD : I was talking of Taemin. Do what you want.
Chun : OH GREAT! :D *kidnaps Min so they talk of naughty things*

B: *facepalm*
Tae: What are they doing, umma?
B: Belly dancing.
Tae: They don't really look like dancing.
B: You're looking at the wrong side of the studio, dear. *points at Shakira*
Tae: Wow. She's good.
B: Good. Now go, be straight, and ask her to teach you.
Tae: Yay!
Jae: Seriously? Belly dancing?
B: It's the only thing on my mind now. I have to think of something quick.
Jae: And it's belly dancing?
B: *feminine-hipthrust on Jae*
Jae: AAAAAAAA! *falls to the ground*
B: Meh.
Su: *masculine-hipthrust on me*
B: *feminine-hipthrust*
SuB: *hipthrust battle*

Shakira: Yes, yes, very good, do it like that.
Tae: *hipthrusting with extreme fluency*
Shakira: Ah, it's like watching myself dance. Orgasmic.
Tae: What's orgasmic?
Shakira: A type of leaf that makes you feel great.
Tae: Weed?
Shakira: No. Spinach. Now, more moves!
Tae: *back to hipthrusting*

MD : O_O
Jay : *pokes* What now?
MD : Too... much... *nosebleeds*
Ando : She's definitely dead.
Jay : Yeah.
MD : Am NOT!
Jae : So what now?
MD : DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW? *watches Su hipthrusts* *nosebleeds*
Ho : This convo is definitely incoherent.

Min: Haha, like you can actually say something cohesive.
Ho: I can!
Min: Like what?
Ho: GLUE!
Min:...well played.
Jae: Ah, whatever. I still don't believe my hubby is smart.
Ho: *almost cries*
Tae: Hey, look at me!
Everybody: *looks at taemin*
Tae: *belly dances*
Shakira: *is very proud*
Min: *applauds*
Jae: *speechless. and a little bit jealous*
Heechul: *really jealous*
Ho: *wants to eat tae*
Chun: *adores*
Su: *legally adores*
B: *departs to the next world*

MD : *applaudes* Good work Tae!
Jae : *jealous* Hey, I can do it too! *belly dances a bit*
Shakira : That's not as good.
Jae : >:[
MD : Damn, but I can belly dance... Is there no one in my sons that can do it?
JaeYooMin : *look at one another*
Chun : *tries*
MD : Not bad but not good.
Min : *tries*
MD : Better but not good.
JaeYooMin : *shrug*
MD : *cries* OMG THE ONE THING THAT COMES FROM MY GRANDMOTHER NOBODY HAS IT *cries more*
Tae : *stops bellydancing* I can pretend I'm your son...
MD : *cries some more*

B: *runs to hug you like whoa*
Jae: Let's ban belly dancing until someone from Appa's side of the family can actually do it.
TaeSuJunho: NOOO!
B: We have to. Let's respect her side.
TaeSuJunho: NOOO!
B: You guys can practice any other time, come on!
TaeSuJunho: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
B: *glares*
TaeSuJunho: *silence*
B: good.
Jae: Umma, can you dance? *teasing me*
B: *not annoyed*
Jae: Come on, is your hips made of stone? *still teasing*
Tae: I don't think you should push it.
B: *gets slightly annoyed*
Jae: Come ooooon...or are you really born with two left feet?
B: *bellydance*
Shakira: *dies of too much OSMness*
Jae: *appalled*
B: I don't spasm. I HIPTHRUST. so you better damn respect me, you twig.
Jae: *worship* orz
Tae: I told you so.

MD : *glares* Jae, I'd like you to stop teasing my wifey when YOU are not even able to belly dance.
Jae : =(
Ho : *hugs Jae*
Min : Well for once he's not raeping him...
Ho : *to Jae* Raep time now?
Min : ...guess I was wrong.
Jae : *glares at Ho*
Ho : *turns into stone*
MD : I definitely love it when you do that.
Tae : Poor Yunho hyung...

B: Serves his libido right.
Tae: What's libido?
B: an eyeliner.
Tae: Huh?
B: Yeah, see? It's a new line. apparently it has better glows.
Tae: Ooohh....
Jae: We're in a cosmetic store right now?
Min: Guess so.
Jae: *squeals excitedly*
Min: *facepalm*
Jae: Umma, look at the new lipgloss!
B: *squeals indefinitely.*
Heechul: *is all over himself*
Ho: *notices the appearance of a SuJu member*
Chun: *is taking Shakira's number*
Su: *is hitting Chun for being such a playboy*
Hiro: *is a hot librarian*
Ando: *is with jay*
Jay: *is with you*
You: *is my hubby. <3*
B: Okay guys, time to bring in your choices!
Tae: *brings the kiwi-scented skin lotion.*
Min: *takes some healthy snacks*
Jae: *is carrying two big bags filled with god knows what*
Chun: *is carrying Shakira's cell phone number*
Su: *is planning to burn it*
Ho: *is carrying a broom*
Cashier Girl: And that brings the total to...$50,000 please.
Jae: Here you go. *gives her credit card*
Min: Wait, BoA-sunbae?
B: Ah yes, hi there.
Ho: KTHXBAI. *is scared of het*
Key: I'm not BoA.
Tae: Key-umma?
Key: Baby Tae?
B: Oh-oh. SHINee reunion.

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